Creating a New Political Party and Renaming the Old Ones

I propose renaming the two major political parties to reflect their modern leanings, including their positions and actions.  Additionally, I propose the creation of a new party because the existing parties need competition.  The two major parties, together, have a monopoly on all major offices in the United States.  We all know that monopolies take advantage of their customers and are frowned upon in a capitalist society.  I would also advocate for some changes to the current political mascots and for the creation of a mascot for the proposed new party.

I propose that the Democratic Party become the Collusionist Party because they collude with big business although they like to pretend that they don’t.  The Collusionists support for the TTP treaty, the Dark Act, and the recent “Monsanto Rider” in the Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA), which takes Monsanto off the hook for liability for poisoning a town, are just three examples that prove that they do collude with (and are sold to) big business. The Collusionists also collude within their party and with local officials.  An example of this is their effort to ram their choice of presidential candidates down the public’s throat.  They do not want the voters, even voters from their party, to decide.  They would prefer to collude, break rules, and commit voting fraud to impose their will on the people.  The donkey as their mascot will not change but will now be referred to as a jackass because everyone knows that 50% of donkeys are jackasses.

The Republicans will become the Obstructionist Party because they are best at obstructing progress. Since they are so good at ignoring the elephant in the room, the elephant mascot will become an ostrich.  Like an ostrich with its head in the sand, pretending to itself that it cannot be seen, Obstructionists like to pretend that they represent the American people instead of big business and big donors.  They also like to pretend things like climate change are not real and that our climate is not impacted by human activity when 99% of scientists agree it is on both counts.   Additionally, they stick their heads in the sand when they think that We The People don’t know that they are not following the Constitution (which they purport to revere) when they do things like refusing to even consider a Supreme Court nominee from a duly elected president.  No matter their rhetoric, their obstructionism in this case is primarily caused by the fact that they do not like the president nominating the candidate, and that the president is not also an Obstructionist.  They want more Obstructionists on the Supreme Court.

For the new party, I propose the moniker the “Truth Party” because America has a great need to hear the truth.  We so rarely hear the truth from either existing party, or from the media.  America has long needed a third major party.  The Truth Party will be the party of truthfulness and integrity.  There will be stringent rules limiting who is allowed into the party and who is not.  Liars and those who accept large campaign contributions from big businesses, the very rich, and Super-PACs need not apply.  Truth Party members will be people whom we know are truly fighting for We The People and for our country.  The Truth Party will adopt as their mascot the owl.  The owl has long been the symbol of wisdom.  The owl also has the ability to not only turn it's head completely around, it can fly high above the land to see and report what is really happening, no matter what the jackasses and ostriches would tell the public.  Owls are also a type of falcon much like our national symbol, the Bald Eagle.  I nominate Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren as the heads of the new Truth Party. Tulsi Gabbard and others like her should also have posts of distinction.

/sarcasm (but not totally)